This post may not be for those with weak stomachs or those who do not have 3 year olds.

I’m pretty confident in saying that Simon is just about potty trained. He has done really well with peeing in the potty since very early on in this process. In fact, he’s even wearing underwear to bed and has not (knock on wood) had an accident in several weeks.

The process of #2, however, has been a bit more of a struggle. I’m told this is common in potty-training kids, so I don’t feel bad about it. He would get himself so worked up about going, that he would go a day or two without a “movement”, and most of the time, when he did go, it was in his underwear. Luckily, he was always so stopped up that it wasn’t a major cleanup. But still frustrating.

His daddy wasn’t happy about it, but we finally made progress about two weeks ago. I got a phone call while I was on my way home from work. This is what I heard: “Your son just shit in the driveway.” Between trying not to laugh (FINALLY! HE DOES THIS FOR HIS DAD AND NOT FOR ME!- although guess who had to clean it up when she got home- what the crap is that about?), I had to view it as a step in the right direction. Yes, it was smack dab in the middle of the driveway, but at least he knew he had to go, and did not simply go in his pants. Partially, it’s my fault, because I have let him pee outside if we’re out in the yard. We’re so country.

Fast forward to last week. The child pooped in the urinal at school (first, let me tell you how *cute* these little urinals are at his school, about as cute as the midget toilet). I guess, it’s porcelain, you pee in it, makes sense to do all of your business there, right?

There was also another incident at home (bless the child’s heart, he is so determined to do things on his own), where he went on the toilet with the lid up and without the potty ring. Yeah, that was gross. Not good for this pregnant lady and her overly sensitive sniffer.

A few nights ago, Phil gave him his bath and (thanks to the warm water) Simon had to get out of the tub to go potty. I was in the next room and heard the following. “IT’S COMING OUT OF MY BUTT!” and “DADDY, IT LOOKS LIKE A SNAKE! NO, A CATERPILLAR!” It was about a ten minute play-by-play. He is SUCH a boy. That was probably the funniest damn thing I have heard in a long time.

So, we’re making progress. Yes, he pooped in the yard again today (the yard! Not the driveway! Yessss!), but we’re slowly but surely getting there.